My causes

I am currently involved in various causes. The first is a petition to regulate, license, and treat midwives as we would any other health professional.

I have created a Loss Survey as I am rather curious as to what the statistics really say!

Lastly, I am getting started creating birth announcements and birth/death announcements. Announcements are free for bereaved parents. Any proceeds will go towards purchasing casting kits for bereavement programs at local hospitals. My hope is to be able to spread this ministry out and provide these to even more hospitals around the country, and possibly overseas. I would also like to have kits on hand for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Bereavement Photographers. If you are looking for any other type of announcement, Drop me a line and I will work with you. Contact me for more info !

Monday, August 11, 2008

My daughters story

On June 4th 2008 I began laboring. I had already been having contractions for 6 days! Two weeks prior I had begun losing my plug, my body was cleaning itself out, and I was naueated. I brought these things to my midwife's attention. The plug wasn't a big deal because I know it can regenerate itself. She advised me to try and eat something and to stay hydrated. I began contracting somewhat regularly around 11am that morning. At 6pm I called my midwife to let her know I was contracting about every ten minutes. At 9pm, it had slowed down some so I let her know that. Around 3:30 am I decided to wake my husband up because things were getting closer. At 4:10am we called her to say it was definately time. Needless to say within twenty minutes, I felt like I had to push. My husband called medics and as soon as he hung up, our baby's head was born and he helped deliver the rest of her. Paramedics arrived on scene just moments later (we live near a fire department). They check us both and said we were fine. They wanted to wait until my midwife arrived before they left. She got here about 5:30. Mind you, it took us around 20 minutes to get to her home for my visits and that was in the evening on the tail end of rush hour. Why it took her almost and hour and a half to get here is beyond me. After she got here, she checked out my placenta and helped us into bed. She looked my daughter over. We brought up some concerns we had. For one, my daughter had what looked like bruising around her nose. We were told it was due to her coming so fast. We believed it. Then, my daughter made an odd noise in which we were told it was just mucus in her airways and it would clear up once she ate. We could NOT get her to show the slightest interest in nursing. I even had my husband go to the store and buy a bottle so I could pump some colostrum. My midwife knew she wouldn't eat and likened it to her just being tired. She also seemed very tired which was due to a long labor. we were told that due to her being a preemie, her body would be unable to regulate it's temperature so we needed to keep her skin to skin or bundled up. She was 36 1/2 weeks.

At 11am, my husband realized she had stopped making that noise. And realized she was no longer breathing. He brought her to me (I had laid down to nap). We called 911 and did cpr on her. Her heart wasn't beating and she was limp. At the hospital, they did all they could and at 11:34am, they stopped trying to get her back. I remember all these people in this room trying so hard while I sat outside and watched them. The social worker kept me updated on what they were doing. I was told at one point that they had given her three shots of epinephrine to try and get her heart going but if she responded she would be severly brain damaged. After they stopped, so many people were crying. They pulled out a glider rocker and wrapped her up in a blanket for me to hold. My husband arrived after this and was devastated. Our pastor came and baptised her. The social worker got handprints, footprints, and a lock of hair. A photographer affiliated with Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep came and took pictures. Looking back, I wish I would of had all my other children brought to the hospital so we could have pictures of our entire family and all of our children together. Our daughter was laid to rest just 4 days later next to her great grandfather.

11 comments:

His Tender Mercies said...

Thank you for sharing your daughter's story....I know it must have been hard reliving it, by putting it into words on here.

Melanie said...

Oh hon. Praying for you and for your husband and children. You remain close in my thoughts.

Antigonos said...

I am so glad you found the courage to describe your birth story for us.

Anonymous said...

After carefully reading through your post. Not knowing all the details, only what you have shared here so far ,I have to say....... I'm not certain that had your daughter been born in the hospital,it would have made a difference, unless of course there was something the midwife missed when she did the newborn exam.

I know there are times things are missed even by doctors. I have a friend who's daughter had a fatal heart defect that was missed on an ultrasound. It wasn't until right after her birth,the doctor/nurses realized that something wasn't right. There was nothing they could do for this little girl & she died a few days later.

You have been on my mind so much since I started reading here. I try to picture myself in your shoes, even to the point I'm dreaming about it & I still can't imagine the heartache. I will be praying for you. Praying for peace to come to you as you grieve your loss.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your story. You must be a very strong woman. I read blogs like yours a lot in my quest to be a good homebirth midwife. One thing in particular seems to be a constant in stories like yours and that is mother's intuition. You seemed to know that something was amiss with your sweet little girl and the midwife dismissed it. That has really taught me something. If I have a mommy telling me she thinks something isn't right, I will examine, transfer and do whatever I can to make sure that that baby and that mom are alright. I will LISTEN to that mommy, because I know how intuitive mommies are. This I promise you. I feel terrible for your family's loss and you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Lissa Lane said...

Rest in Peace dearest sweet one. I'm crying reading your story.

I also lost my little girl. my heard hurts for you

Sharon said...

My second child was born in hospital after a 6 hour labour and choked on mucus soon after birth. However, we were back home 5 hours after the birth as early discharge is quite common here. Maybe this isn't the case in the US, but in the UK I don't think a hospital birth would necessarily have made any difference to your outcome. I recently lost a baby during mid pregnancy and this was hard enough. I can't imagine the pain you must go through every day. You and your beautiful family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Jane said...

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Sounds very familiar in many ways. Hang in there. Life gets better with time.

Jane

Anonymous said...

What happened to the Paramedics? Did you sign something refusing treatment?
Their behavior (waiting for midwife?) certainly does not sound like they were following protocol.

I am so sorry this happened and wish you peace.

Anonymous said...

Hi I am so very sorry to hear about your daughter. I was very heartbroken while reading your story. My sister died at 3 months old of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. My parents were very devastated. I know that the only way that anyone can get through something like this is through the power of Christ and our love for Him and His love for us. I know that He never puts anything on our plate too handle. We just have to have faith in Him.

Tristansmommy said...

I'm so very sorry!! Thank you so much for sharing those precious moments, you are a wonderful mommy!!