My causes

I am currently involved in various causes. The first is a petition to regulate, license, and treat midwives as we would any other health professional.

I have created a Loss Survey as I am rather curious as to what the statistics really say!

Lastly, I am getting started creating birth announcements and birth/death announcements. Announcements are free for bereaved parents. Any proceeds will go towards purchasing casting kits for bereavement programs at local hospitals. My hope is to be able to spread this ministry out and provide these to even more hospitals around the country, and possibly overseas. I would also like to have kits on hand for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Bereavement Photographers. If you are looking for any other type of announcement, Drop me a line and I will work with you. Contact me for more info !

Friday, December 12, 2008

Getting medical information

Seeking advice online in a group is fine. BUT let's remember that the people we talk to are NOT dr's or really all that educated. You may be egged on to go unassisted or to have a high risk delivery at home. This, my friends, is flirting with disaster. Please do not base your decisions upon what regular people say. They are NOT the ones who will live with the consequences of something happening. God forbid something happens to your baby, you hear "I'm sorry for your loss" and see a bunch of fake candles, then you are to be silent and not speak again. You and your deceased baby will be nothing to them. They are not going to listen or support you in your grief. When you bring it up, you will be given reasons why it was just a fluke. That is if they even let you post anything having to do with your loss. I urge you to look inside yourselves and do what is in the best interest of your baby, not a bunch of faceless people who don't know or care for you. Seriously, our comfort means NOTHING, our wants and desires mean NOTHING. All that matters is having a healthy living baby. The greatest birth experience in the world means nothing when your baby is in ashes on a shelf or 6 feet in the cold hard ground. Babies die. Those who think it won't happen to them, well it can. I don't care if you are low risk. Your baby can die and the chances are MUCH higher at home than in a hospital. No transfer doesn't mean squat, it means that your baby will have been at risk for longer. In a hospital, emergencies can be handled immediately. At home, they can't. Some problems cannot be anticipated. Things do just happen. Please consider your babies. I thought I was considering mine, but she is gone now. No amount of fake candles or I'm sorries will bring her back or erase the pain I feel every single day. Homebirth isn't worth it. And those who make such a huge deal about it, really don't care about your or your baby!


Nicole said...

I am so sorry for you loss. Thank you for posting this. It drives me insane to see all of the ridiculous advice given on MDC time after time after time. Its dangerous and irresponsible to encourage that kind of discussion while editing out and moderating any opposing position.

Ashlee said...

At some point I was interested in a homebirth. While my husband was in college he worked for an insurance company and at some point processed a claim for a hospital visit for a homebirth that ended tragically. He said, it's just not worth the risk. That was the end of your discussion. After reading some of what you wrote, I think he is totally correct. I know it doesn't make it better but I am sorry for your loss and I applaud your efforts to educate on the risks of homebirth.

This is Ashlee9302 from the Nov 09 Babycenter board.

Ashlee said...

sorry, that last comment was supposed to say the end of "the" discussion, not "your"

mama2AlexandHolden said...

First, and most important I am sorry for your loss. Second, thank you. I think it is wonderful you are taking the time to help educate others and being totally frank about it without mincing words. I hope you find peace. Best wishes in your campaign to educate and bring others to open, honest discussions about what may well be one of the most important decisions they EVER make.